I’ve yet to meet a parent who wants their child to have a poor or neglected education. I’m not saying they don’t exist, just that I haven’t met one. Those with whom I have discussed it, invariably want their child to have a topnotch education.
These same parents are aghast when a student gains notoriety for some misbehavior or crime while at school. They even complain that our schools are out of control and say that something should be done to regain discipline……….unless it’s their child who causes the disruption or commits the crime.
The mindset of the parents then suddenly changes. They quickly begin looking for someone, other than their “angel,” on whom to place blame. The notion that their child should be required to accept full responsibility for his/her misconduct is forgotten, as the family circles the wagons of defense.
Interestingly, without regard as to the guilt of the child, the parents usually find it easy to get radio, TV, and newspaper coverage, since they portray another “school crisis” theme. If the misguided action of the child warrants potential expulsion or corporal punishment, the family can readily find an attorney willing to challenge the right of school officials to administer appropriate measures. As a result of the unwillingness of parents to allow their child to realize the consequences of his/her own actions our schools are faced with a form of chaos in which the students are in charge.
The students come to learn that regardless of what they may do (short of a violent crime requiring law enforcement intervention), they will be held harmless and there will be no consequences. Let’s take a look at a brief, but all too frequent, example.
An oppositional, defiant, and indifferent student, Dudley DoWrong, engages in disruptive behaviors on a daily basis. He has already decided by age 13 or 14 that school is boring, has no meaning, and so he wants out. He will do whatever is necessary to get out of school. So Dudley’s teachers are faced with the impossible task of teaching other students while Dudley DoWrong is in the classroom. The teacher’s only option is to “refer” Dudley to the principal’s office. Dudley complies with the trip to the office where he sits until the principal or vice principal can see him.
He is eventually seen by one of the school administrators who admonishes him to behave and to do the right thing. He is then sent back to the classroom where he again causes disruption. Logically, one would think that the trip to the front office would strike fear into the heart of DoWrong as it did with those of us from generations past. Not so!
Dudley is firmly ensconced in the revolving door, meaningless actions of school officials. In fact, he probably realizes that if his teacher sends him to the front office frequently, the teacher will be regarded as having poor “classroom management” skills.
I’ll shorten this episode and get to one of the points that need review in our public school systems. While public caning may not be appropriate for school misconduct, shame certainly is appropriate. Shame works because it first of all makes Dudley DoWrong face the consequences of his actions. The secondary gain to be had from shaming a student for his/her misbehavior is that it places the parents under the microscope of public scrutiny. After all, they may not know how to parent their child effectively and could benefit from parental education. Finally, it would give teachers and administrators a bona fide means of curbing Dudley’s behavior (unless he is bent on getting expelled).
For those of you who may be appalled at the idea that shaming is appropriate, for fear that it will damage little Dudley’s psyche…..balderdash! Most of the little Dudley’s aren’t getting instruction on appropriate social behaviors at home, because both parents work and are too tired to deal with it. The tendency is to ignore Dudley until some critical incident raises the need for parental involvement……then they circle the wagons of defense.
Some of you may wonder what forms of shame I’d advocate. Well, like the orange license plate some states require convicted drug/alcohol impaired (DUI/DWI) persons to display, some sort of sign hanging around the neck of the offender may work. One has to be careful when constructing the elements of shame used, lest they become a red badge of courage in the eyes of other students.
Another option could be conducted during school assemblies, where disobedient students are called to the front of the assembly to publically describe their misconduct. What student would want to face that again????
As always, I look forward to comments…….
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